Not As Loaded As It Could Be
HERBIE FULLY LOADED

RATING: C

Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Justin Long, Breckin Meyer with Matt Dillon and Michael Keaton. Music by Mark Mothersbaugh, Costume Designer Frank Helmer, Production Designer Daniel Bradford, Director of Photography Greg Gardiner, Produced by Robert Simonds, Based on characters created by Gordon Buford, Story by Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant and Mark Perez, Screenplay by Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant and Alfred Gough & Miles Millar, Directed by Angela Robinson.

Rated G, Running Time 105 mins., 1.85 to 1 Academy Standard Aspect Ratio.

I don't mean to toot my own horn but I predicted Lindsay Lohan's popularity very early on. Even before I started writing reviews, back when I saw "The Parent Trap" several years ago I knew this young lady would score big, not just for her beauty and bubbly persona, but for her talent as a performer which continues to evolve. I'm sure not even Lohan could predict that her status would skyrocket so high, so rapidly. She has been over-exposed in the media multiple times to the point that it could affect her popularity. Hopefully the public will be able to look beyond the hype and see her for the talented professional she is. "Herbie: Fully Loaded" isn't a step in the right direction for Lohan to sharpen her acting skills, but it proves her loyalty to the studio that first gave her exposure and even if the film is a mediocre piece of children's entertainment it's an honest one.

Lohan stars as Maggie Peyton, who has just graduated from college and landed a small job at ESPN, much to the approval of her father Ray (Michael Keaton). Though Maggie yearns to follow in the footsteps (or tire tracks) of Ray and her older brother Ray Jr. (Breckin Meyer) as a professional race car driver, her dad prefers that she keeps her head out of the clouds and her feet planted firmly on the ground. Racing may be in her blood but the problem is she's not very skilled behind the wheel and has been in a few scrapes while drag racing. Her luck begins to change when she stumbles upon a dilapidated '63 Volkswagen while shopping for a graduation present in a junk yard. If only she knew as we do that this is actually the "Herbie" car from the five previous movies and it's actually alive. No, this car isn't possessed by some demonic force that would be Stephen King's "Christine" (which would make a great date for Herbie); this is the little VW bug with a heart of gold.

"Herbie" wastes no time sensing Maggie's despair over not realizing her racing dreams and before she knows it she's challenging and making a fool of stone faced baddie Matt Dillon by beating him in a drag race. Pretty soon the plot begins to take a generic turn as Maggie is faced with being exposed by Dillon and getting caught by her dad who she promised she would never race again. Pro race car driver Dillon acts out his frustrations at being upstaged by trying to sabotage this car he has no idea is alive and Maggie and Herbie have a falling out which will eventually be resolved and lead to her dad's acceptance of her hidden talent -- you know the usual.

The problem with "Herbie: Fully Loaded" isn't the generic plot we've all seen before, it's the fact that the story leaves no room for character development. It’s a shame since two of the film’s credited screenwriters created the “Smallville” television series. All of Lohan's previous films, even the mediocre "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" gave her a chance to showcase the growth of her character as well as those that surrounded her. Although Dillon is quite amusing as the villain (he seems to know just the right humor the part requires) he's barely on screen to register, just as Keaton who pops in and out of the picture as if he was busy plotting new Batman Christian Bale's demise. Lohan does share some nice rapport with mechanic/childhood friend/prospective love interest Justin Long. His amusing "deer caught in the headlights" expression always seems to work in any film he appears, but it's not enough. Lohan herself has the uncanny ability to light up the screen with her optimistic attitude, curious freckles and "Plus-White" smile, but without a fully developed character, there's little that even she can do.

That leaves us with the star of the film, Number 53, Herbie himself. With the advent of CGI you would think the filmmakers would pull out all the stops and make Herbie a truly imaginative and interactive living character, but that's not the case. Sure, he makes happy and sad expressions by "winking" his headlights, smiling or pouting by bending his front fender and using his sun visors as eyebrows, but I've seen Royal Guards outside of Buckingham Palace with more expression. There are quite a few stunts involving Herbie saving the day or showing off in a race, but unlike the previous films, Herbie's antics lack personality. Sure the effects in the other Herbie films are painfully dated nowadays, but they're still a hell of a lot more fun to watch.

Is this incarnation of Herbie loaded with crap? Well, despite its shortcomings the film does have entertainment value. It moves at a fairly quick pace and despite a few cheesy moments meant to provoke an emotional response, this is a film that will surely satisfy its target audience: kids. Well, I'm sure that the fact that Lohan wears tight fitted tops throughout the film (infamous CGI breast reduction not obvious) means that the flick was targeted at more than just kids, but this is G-rated family fare with no scenes that will make parents uncomfortable or having to answer questions from their children that they aren't ready for. Never once during the film was I bored or fighting sleep to pay attention. I'll leave that to less exciting fare like "Shark Boy and Lava Girl". (You see I didn't review that one). Even though "3-D" technology was wasted on that film, "Herbie" is a much more dimensional and rewarding family experience. "Herbie and Lindsay Lohan in 3-D", hmm, that could really work.