13 Is An Unlucky Number
ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13

RATING: C+

Rogue Pictures

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Laurence Fishburne, John Leguizamo, Maria Bello, Ja Rule, Drea De Matteo with Brian Dennehy and Gabriel Byrne. Casting by Hopkins Smith Barden, Costume Designers Vicki Graef, Georgina Yarhi, Music by Graeme Revell, Editor Bill Pankow, Production Designer Paul Denham Austerberry, Director of Photography Robert Gantz, Produced by Pascal Caucheteux, Stephanie Sperry, Jeffrey Silver, Based on the film written by John Carpenter, Screenplay by James Demonaco, Directed by Jean-Francois Richet.

Rated R, Running Time 109 mins., 2.40 to 1 Anamorphic Scope Aspect Ratio.

Another year, another season, another remake. 2005 is still in it's stages of infancy and Hollywood is already up to its old tricks; spinning out another remake and hoping audiences will be none the wiser. Based on the '76 sophomore feature of genre director John Carpenter, "Assault on Precinct 13" is actually a remake of a remake; a "re-imagining" of Carpenter's homage to Howard Hawks' John Wayne vehicle "Rio Bravo", this time with preppie Ethan Hawke as the lead. But Hawke 'aint "the Duke" and with a sleepy eyed and overworked Laurence Fishburne as his co-star and John Leguizamo and rapper Ja Rule as bait for minority audiences, this remake is doomed before an 'assault' can begin.

Hawke stars as a burnt out cop who's landed desk duty several months after a drug bust goes awry. It's New Year's eve and his precinct is breathing it's last hours before shutting its doors forever. Only Hawke and a skeleton staff remain on duty, hoping to get drunk for the new year, since nothing could possible go wrong. Trouble arrives in the form of Laurence Fishburne, looking in need of a good weight loss program and borrowing from his performances in "Hoodlum" and "Bad Company". Fishburne hides his out of shape physique behind another Matrix-type purple trenchcoat as Bishop, a notorious gangster who has just been arrested for the murder of an undercover cop. Enroute to jail during a blizzard, Fishburne's prison bus stops off at Hawke's precinct in the hope of waiting out the storm.

Fishburne's gangster, Ja Rule's street hustler and Leguizamo's drug addict are the type of prisoners that Hawke doesn't need to tend to right now. He's coping with the fact he's still shell shocked from undercover work and in the midst of failing his psych evaluation with lovely police psychiatrist Maria Bello. But Hawke will have to face his fears, step up to the plate and become a man of action because his precinct is about to be under siege.

Fishburne is no average hood, he has deadly connections and the power to finger his co-conspirators in crime if he has to. Gabriel Byrne, head of a police task force isn't about to let that happen. He and his team of dozens of officers began as investigators and soon became Fishburne's partners in crime. They'll all burn if he makes it to trial and their only option is to take him out immediately. Hawke, fellow officer Brian Dennehy, secretary Drea De Mateo and the prisoners of the precinct are just collateral damage. Under fire from Bryne and his army, they'll have to put aside their differences and band together if they want to survive the night. Sound familiar?

It's always amazing how Hollywood can take a popular film that cost very little by today's standards, remake the story with tens of millions of dollars and still fail to get it right. John Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13" was a $100,000 exploitation action picture that had a low budget feel and unknown cast, but the director showcased his superb skill and ability to build dramatic tension with little resources. Hawke and Fishburne are two of today's brightest actors and its surprising that when they're thrown together they have no chemistry at all. They don't even attempt to scratch the surface of the respect and comraderie that developed between Austin Stoker's black cop and Darwin Joston's white criminal in the original. And in that film the story was much shorter and they did so much in so little time.

It's not expected that the extraordinary life threatening circumstances of the story will make these two individuals life long friends; there is a bit of realism to the trust and distrust between them. But it seems as if the actors are sizing each other up; Fishburne wondering "where did this shaggy haired preppie come from," and Hawke trying to figure out why Fishburne doesn't get a prescription for Pro-Activ skin care solution. But seriously, these two actors are known for their abilities to bring realism and conviction to roles and instead it looks as if they're in the mood for a quick paycheck.

Lackluster performances by Hawke and Fishburne are the least of this film's problems. In an attempt to bring young black and latino audiences into the theaters, the filmmakers have cast rapper Ja Rule and comedian John Leguizamo in two of the most annoying roles of the new year. How Ja Rule received top billing over the talented (and completely wasted) Gabriel Byrne I'll never know, but he is not an actor. I'm not saying they should have been cast as cops or even an accountant or lawyer, but haven't we had enough of seeing minorities subjected to roles as either a street hustler, drug pusher or addict? I'm sure their young fans will forgive them because they eventually get automatic weapons in their hands and the chance to blast anything moving accompanied by a stereotypical wisecrack. Ja Rule wants to break in the movie business and will probably take anything thrown his way, but is an accomplished performer like Leguizamo in need of such a stereotypical role?

In addition to the wonderful work by Stoker and Joston, the original film had a memorable deadpan performance by Laurie Zimmer as the precinct secretary. Instead of giving us an intelligent character this time around, we're subjected to a one-note performance by Sopranos veteran Drea De Mateo, whose secretary is more of a sexpot than a realistic person. De Mateo does carry a degree of appeal in certain roles, but she appears to be stuck in a rut with a role too close to her Adrianna character and any moment you feel as if she'll moan "CHRISTOFUH!!" A few actors familiar to exploitation cinema themselves have been cast in this film: Brian Dennehy, looking as if he thinks he's in the never-will-be-made "F/X 3", Kim Coates whose getting too old to play thugs and is now in his prison guard phase and the Samuel L. Jackson of the 80's Dorian Harewood, once an accomplished television actor, now left with a role as a doomed guard.

In Carpenter's original the precinct was under siege by a crazed army of gang members who had swore a blood oath to fight to the death. Equipped with sniper rifles, they did plenty of damage in a rampage that began with the slaughter of cherub faced Disney child star Kim Richards. That shocking moment in the film is probably the most remembered and even though there is a similar moment in this remake, Byrne and his team just aren't up to snuff. Sure they have sniper rifles and a few bells and whistles that include, flash grenades, infared goggles and even a helicopter. So what do they do to get everyone to come out? They blast away at the building with automatic weapons. You would think that with their high tech gadgetry the antagonists of the film would use high-tech tactics, maybe even try to trick their prey into believing help had arrived. They just wait and shoot, shoot and wait. Meanwhile the balance of the film's two worlds, outside and inside is thrown off because all the protagonists do is argue.

The new "Assault" is the American debut of French filmmaker Jean-Francois Richet. His work isn't a completely wasted effort, the man does have a degree of skill, especially his ability to compose shots and edit the action sequences together in an entertaining fashion. There are some filmmakers who don't make good use of the anamorphic aspect ratio and Richet seems to be adept in this area. I only wish he had utilized the precinct's incredible set more elaborately. Carpenter made excellent use of a jail cell, a reception area and a basement. Richet has more money on his hands and even though the story is set in a old and run down precinct, he and his production team could have given the action greater geography. It gets down right insulting at times especially during one moment when Hawke survives an explosion and literally lands in the middle of a forest, a forest that we were given no indication was right behind the precinct. It's almost as if the filmmakers figured they had a lackluster action scene and decided to add a new locale during re-shoots.

Is this new version of "Assault on Precinct 13" a complete waste of your time? Well, if you're in the mood for violence without a set of intelligent characters to back it up then this is your movie. The original film was no masterpiece either and barely holds up to today's standards. It was never a classic, but will find it's place as an ambitious film that made the best of what it had. If you're in the mood for a classic, then it's "Rio Bravo", but that's another story.