Starring:
Cole Hauser, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian, Rick Ravanello, Marcel
Lures, Lena Headey, Piper Perabo. Screenplay by J Michael Steinberg,
Tegan West. Directed by Bruce Hunt.
Rated PG-13 for intense creature
violence.
If nothing else, The
Cave is a testament that the legacy started with
Ridley Scott’s Alien will continue on for generations to
come. The latter film is essentially responsible for giving a
name to the sci-fi monster genre. For that matter, The
Cave makes one appreciate the subtlety and art
of Jaws, where Spielberg brilliantly implemented the less is more
approach that would spawn countless imitators to the present.
Why begin a review by mentioning films over two decades old? Because
this film makes you long for the directors who did it right the
first time.
First
off, full respect goes out to my boy Cole Hauser. If the name
is unfamiliar, it’s because the actor has remained more
or less below radar, appearing sporadically in supporting roles.
He played an eerily calm and assured neo-nazi in Higher Learning,
abandoning the cliched loud and ignorant skinhead stereotype for
that of a man with tragically misguided intelligence. A true chameleon,
you would never realize that this is the same actor who played
Ben and Matt’s hometown Boston buddy in Good Will Hunting.
From swastikas and Harvard bars, he played a sadistic, Hispanic
drug kingpin in 2 Fast 2 Furious. I never got around to seeing
Paparazzi, his only lead role to date, but I have no doubt that
he killed it.
This reads more like a mini-filmography
for Cole than a critique on the film, but the man deserves the
recognition and The Cave, sadly, isn‘t really worth talking
about. If he chooses his next few roles wisely, he might break
onto that next level. At the moment, he plays in this film Jack,
a world renowned cave diver called in when a group of scientists
discover an underground cavern beneath an ancient Romanian church
(or abbey according to the press notes). The film explains to
us that the cave is a diver’s wet dream and thus Jack assembles
his team to go down and reap unimaginable fame and unlimited grants.
All is well at first. Backs are slapped and toasts are made as
the team prepares for their expedition. Shortly into the mission,
ominous sounds are heard. Suspicion as well as questions are raised
regarding the weird occurrences that begin to spook the scientists.
You’ve seen it all before and The Cave doesn’t even
pretend to want to tamper with formula. If anything different
struck me, it was that the movie seemed like it was originally
intended as a sports-themed adrenaline thriller. If this is the
case, the filmmakers must have realized both their characters
and their story sucked and threw in some winged, man-eating creatures
just to be on the safe side.
As
boring as the monsters were, I was rooting for them with all I
had. With a movie like this, I thought I could at least draw some
entertainment from the fact that most of the characters would
die bloody, unspeakable deaths. Even in this simple request, The
Cave let me down. Beyond my understanding, they kept most of these
uninspired characters alive. With what little meat fleshed his
role, Cole at least made a worthy effort to make Jack interesting.
Infected with the same parasites responsible for the cave monsters’
evolutions, it’s fun watching him bury the evil disease
in the selfless hopes of saving his team. It breaks your heart
how serious he takes it, attempting to bring acting nuance to
this cookie cutter mess.
First
off, full respect goes out to my boy Cole Hauser. If the name
is unfamiliar, it’s because the actor has remained more
or less below radar, appearing sporadically in supporting roles.
He played an eerily calm and assured neo-nazi in Higher Learning,
abandoning the cliched loud and ignorant skinhead stereotype for
that of a man with tragically misguided intelligence. A true chameleon,
you would never realize that this is the same actor who played
Ben and Matt’s hometown Boston buddy in Good Will Hunting.
From swastikas and Harvard bars, he played a sadistic, Hispanic
drug kingpin in 2 Fast 2 Furious. I never got around to seeing
Paparazzi, his only lead role to date, but I have no doubt that
he killed it.
As
boring as the monsters were, I was rooting for them with all I
had. With a movie like this, I thought I could at least draw some
entertainment from the fact that most of the characters would
die bloody, unspeakable deaths. Even in this simple request, The
Cave let me down. Beyond my understanding, they kept most of these
uninspired characters alive. With what little meat fleshed his
role, Cole at least made a worthy effort to make Jack interesting.
Infected with the same parasites responsible for the cave monsters’
evolutions, it’s fun watching him bury the evil disease
in the selfless hopes of saving his team. It breaks your heart
how serious he takes it, attempting to bring acting nuance to
this cookie cutter mess.