Five Reasons Why Comic-Con Sucks
|
|
By George 'El Guapo' Roush on
July 13, 2009
|
|
|
The San Diego Comic-Con is the biggest comic book convention on the planet. Each year the attendance rises as thousands from around the globe fly into San Diego for four days of superhero reading, writing, talking, sharing and laughing.
From the young to the old, from the male to the female to the shemale, you will find every race, creed, color, and sexual orientation at this convention. It's a true melting pot. Artists, writers, celebrities, anime fans, comic book fans, movie fans, television fans, science fiction fans, horror fans all squeeze into the convention center to share their love for all things geek.
And while it's a lot of fun to go to beautiful San Diego and hang out with your dork friends and talk comic books during the day while getting really drunk at night and trying to hit on your friend's sister while wearing your outdated faggy Venom t-shirt, there are also drawbacks to attending a convention so huge.
While most of you just have to worry about what to look at and which dressed up anime girl you feel like stalking for two days only to finally say hello and find out she's a lesbian, all of your favorite online guys (like me of course) are busy running around like chickens with their heads cut off for four days trying cover footage, interview celebs and get whatever news we can to bring it to you. So we don't get to the enjoy the convention the way most of you do. So while this list might seem like it only applies to journalists and bloggers, a lot of these drawbacks actually affect you as well.
So let's take a look at five reasons why the San Diego Comic-Con convention sucks.
5.
Getting in.
Fuck. Me.
Day 1 of Comic-Con is a fucking nightmare. If you're not there at say, 4 in the morning, you're not getting in at a decent hour. There are lines that have lines. There are so many lines, they merge with other lines and nobody is supposed to know where to go or what line to actually stand in. There are lines for badge holders, lines for people to get their badges, lines for professionals, lines for press, lines for the bus, lines, lines, lines. The first day is a clusterfuck. And it doesn't help that it's 100 degrees outside. You would think after all these years, they'd have all of these issues worked out, but it only seems to get worse every year. And the next reason is one of the reasons why.
4.
Comic-Con "Security".
Elite? LOL!
Comic-Con's security force is perhaps the most inept group of security I've ever seen. They treat EVERYONE like shit. They're miserable, we're miserable, which leads to confusion and chaos because while one security person tells you one thing, another security person is telling you another. In fact, you could ask two security guys standing next to each other which way Hall H is, and each one will point in a different direction. Don't count on them to help you get where you need to go, find out where the bathrooms are, or even let you in if you're late for a panel. In fact, if you're shot and bleeding to death on the ground, expect them to walk around you.
3.
Hall H.
Last year's line just to get inside Hall H.
Hall H may be big, but you are crammed shoulder to shoulder with 6,499 other people. The line just to get into Hall H is so long, it snakes outside where you will dehydrate within a matter of ten minutes if you don't bring a bottle of water. And with the Twilight fans taking up most of the hall for the New Moon presentation on Thursday, expect Hall H to once again be a fucking nightmare. But if you're attending Comic-Con, it's the one place you have to check out.
 Hall H is where most of the big name action occurs. It's the place where the movie studios bring out the big guns to show off footage of their latest movie, whether they're comic book related or not. Hall H is now THE place for studios to generate buzz for their future projects. It's the place where we first saw Iron Man fly amongst the clouds and where we first saw a return to the world of TRON. Hall H is one of the few opportunities fans get to see and ask their favorite celebrities a question. Of course, there's the usual idiot wearing a fake moustache or some dipshit Twilight mom who will always ask some stupid fuckface asshole question, but that's what happens at a convention filled with weirdos who dress up as Star Wars characters.
2.
Fat People.
One reason why it's so hard to move around the convention floor is because every person who has never seen a treadmill leaves the comfort of their World of Warcraft guild to venture outside and go to San Diego. Instead of being nailed by strollers, you're constantly being blocked or hit by some enormous fat ass rushing down the hallway to make sure he doesn't miss the latest panel on Middle Earth territory disputes. Now before you fatties get all up in my face with your donut frosting covered t-shirts, I'm not hating on fat people. I'm simply pointing out that you should all be killed. The trees have been working overtime since the introduction of super sized fast food combos to keep you alive and they're getting a bit tired. The rest of the planet needs the oxygen.
1.
Where are the comics?
If you're curious as to why nobody in this picture is smiling, it's because they can't find where the comic books are at the comic book convention. They've been wandering the convention floor for six hours only to run into vendors promoting the latest show on Cartoon Network. Movies, television and animation have taken over Comic-Con and turned it into a film and television convention before our very eyes. Comic-Con has become so vital for studios and their marketing plans, that it will only get worse in the future. But hey, who am I to complain? I'm not going to cover comic books anyway. Those are for kids and adults who can't face the real world.
And there's your look at 5 reasons why Comic-Con sucks. I'm sure there are many reason why you think it sucks, but these are the five main ones I could think of. Despite all of the problems the convention has, it's still a blast to attend. So please don't be discouraged by this list. (Yes, I'm kidding about reason #2.)
See you at the con!
Move it thunder thighs! Get off the couch and
|
|
|
|
|
Tags: News |
|
|
|
|
