If Fox is wondering why their only good movies this year are Marley & Me and The Wrestler, it's because they need take a step back from acquiring the rights to stupid fucking ideas like this one:
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Fox is ready to take advice from a 9-year-old.
The studio has acquired the film rights to "How to Talk to Girls," a cute 46-page self-help tome written by Alec Greven, a Colorado fourth-grader.
Greven wrote "Girls" as a handwritten, $3 pamphlet sold at his school book fair; he wrote it after he noticed his peers were having some trouble talking to the ladies, though the book is geared for all ages. Among this advice: Comb your hair and don't wear sweats; control your hyperness and cut down on sugar if necessary; a crush is like a love disease that can drive you mad; it is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry but are like cars that need a lot of oil.
Soon enough Harper Collins picked up the book, which came out in November and quickly became a hit. But initially, Fox, which is like Harper Collins is owned by News Corp ., and its book scouts passed on the title. But when the book hit the town last week, garnering heavy interest from multiple parties, Fox stepped back in and took the book off the table. The deal was in the low-to-mid six figures.
I wonder if he realizes he just called girls a bunch of broken down jalopies. Maybe he know more about women than I thought. His peers are having problems with girls? At 9 years old some kid is stressed out about a girl?
"Hey son, wanna throw the ball around?"
"No thanks Dad. Billy is having some girl issues with Margaret in the 3rd grade and I'm going to help him out."
"I'm sorry? What did you say?"
While it's cute that some kid wrote a dumb little book on how to pick up girls, what isn't cute is that a studio actually thought it would make a good movie. Six figures for the book rights. I wrote a book when I was 9 years old. But it was about how to avoid getting kicked right in the tailbone by the mean girls in the 4th grade.
And I'm already breaking the casting news now. Jaden Smith will be cast in the role. Why? Because his daddy wants to see little Hitch on the big screen. Right after he's done spitting in the face of Karate Kid fans.
Tip # 23: When you first talk to girls, make sure you show them your pee pee. It works all the time for this guy over at Twitter.
