Hi! I'm Brett Ratner And I'm Directing God Of War.
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By George 'El Guapo' Roush on
September 30, 2008
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What's up guys? Brett Ratner here giving you the latest on all things BRETT! Sometimes my good friend El Guapo at Latinoreview lets me post updates on everything that's happening in my life so I wanted to keep you awesome hardcore fans in the loop on my latest projects.
Besides making movies, I also like to write movies and watch movies. I have a really cool theater setup in my crib, and when I invite a few thousand of my friends over for a party, I make sure Scarface is running 24/7 because I know my Latino brothers really like that movie. I'm also a card carrying Ruff Ryder and I like to play golf in my spare time. I also like to socialize and make friends on Facebook.
Here I am with this hot chick I totally banged.
So when I'm not snorting coke off of some model's fake tits, or throwing a pool party so gangster that it makes Dr. Dre's look like a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party, I'm making movies. And man, I have a lot of shit in the pipeline!
I met up with the sexual predators over at UGO and gave them the exclusive scoop on what I'm working on next. I'm good friends with Jenna Busch, who works at UGO full time. But part time she likes to shave my chest as I wax poetic on how many orgasms I can give her within my record time of :44 seconds of sexual intercourse.
 I did this sista while Keith Sweat
was singing in the background. Live.
He's my neighbor.
Not only am I the main man behind the next Beverly Hills Cop movie, called 'The Next Beverly Hills Cop Movie', but I'm also directing a video game movie! Yep, the powers that be want yours truly to gather up all of his fantasy knowledge and Madden skillz to direct God of War!  When her husband isn't around,
I'm the one 'Seal'ing up her holes. Yuk! Yuk!
If you guys don't know what God of War is, let me refresh your brains. It's about this bad ass motherfucker named Kratos who goes around and kills a bunch of dudes because he's angry that the other gods turned their backs on him or some stupid silly shit like that. I don't really know, I've never actually played the game because I'm too busy BANGING HOT CHICKS.  Bet your ass I gave her a Ratner Ride that night!
You need an 'E' ticket to ride this penis and Salma bought an entire book.
Hey, don't believe me? Check it out for yourself right here on UGO's own website. I'll check you cats out later. I'm off to make more movie magic! Make sure leave some comments below. I'll be checking back often and if you write not so nice things, then I'm gonna come to your house, mister!! While you guys are at it, e-mail george@latinoreview.com He's really good at mowing my lawn and cleaning my mansion. |
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Tags: News |
| Comments
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Dude, George, That's fucked up.
Commented By: Brett Ratner on 2008-09-30 17:01:08
I mean I got you this gig with Kellvin and trashin me is how I am thanked? Damn, and you left the fuckin gate open last night, shit, my fuckin white tiger and both of my giraffes fuckin escaped. Not to mention all them chinese bitches makin my croc leather plats actually saw the outside. FUCK george, what the hell? Didn't I promise not to make fun of your wop ass? Wizzle the dizzle? Dude, I am so not hooking you up with Eva Amurri anymore. Fuckin pinchie wannabe latino.
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LOL
Commented By: El Guapo on 2008-09-30 17:02:37
Best comment ever.
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on 2008-09-30 17:11:13
Brasileiro em Denver
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Commented By: Jerry Rebes on 2008-09-30 17:51:09
This is *classic.*
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Check..
Commented By: Boss on 2008-09-30 19:15:53
Brett dont fuck this movie up!! Or I will fuck ya wife up..
Oh yea George..ya gotta play that game mann!!!
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God of Motherfucking War
Commented By: Ragnarok on 2008-09-30 19:56:14
Kratos is the John McClane of ancient fucking Greece. The John McClane Bible clearly states that all movies featuring John McClane should be hard R (Motherfuckers 4:16) and filled with plenty of badassery (Buttkickers 3:21). You don't need a narrative to define Kratos, what he needs is character and a goal. If you can make us believe the guy can wield two axes as big as himself, you've got yourself a winner. That and a lot of motherfucking blood and intestines.
Oh, and please make sure the soundtrack is gonna be a mixture of death metal and a fucking orchestra. There really is no alternative.
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Brett Ratner is awesome
Commented By: Franklin Carpio on 2008-09-30 19:58:59
Ok, So you direct movies and you bang hot women all day. You're awesome. And you so happen to be directing God Of War movie... FUCKIN AWESOME. as a special effects artist i hope you dont over use CGI and get some nitty gritty fuckin gore going on... Needless to say hot women. GOD SPEED.
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Brett Ratner is awesome
Commented By: Frankie on 2008-09-30 19:59:27
Ok, So you direct movies and you bang hot women all day. You're awesome. And you so happen to be directing God Of War movie... FUCKIN AWESOME. as a special effects artist i hope you dont over use CGI and get some nitty gritty fuckin gore going on... Needless to say hot women. GOD SPEED.
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My opinion
Commented By: S Pickens on 2008-09-30 21:27:30
I hope this fat little tit directs his car into a WALL !
He makes roland emmerich look like Kubrick and uwe bole like David Lynch.
Go and retire you useless little short assed, sugar fiend, my smeg holds more talent than you, oh ruiner of good movie franchises!
YOU'RE MOM HAS TWO CUNTS- AND YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!
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Fuck you Breet Ratner
Commented By: Mattador on 2008-10-01 00:05:12
Brett Ratner couldn't direct his way out of a wet paper bag!!
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Kratos kill this motherfucker!
Commented By: Mattador on 2008-10-01 00:08:13
Brett Ratner couldn't direct his way out of a wet paper bag!!
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Get the fuck out
Commented By: Choi on 2008-10-01 01:55:30
I'm really starting to get sick of Brett Ratner news. I just don't give a fuck. George, the next time you report anything about Ratner it better be about him doing us a favor and jumping off a bridge.
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Comics get branagh and nolan. Video games get ratner?
Commented By: why fucking ratner? on 2008-10-01 03:25:35
I'm speechless. Brett ratner = autosuck. I'm downloading. I might not even do that considering it's him. At least part 3 is coming out on playstation 3. Thank god the GAMES are INTERACTIVE.Imagine watching his suckfest.
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Mr.Ratner................
Commented By: Molto on 2008-10-01 04:51:48
I HATE You!
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Terrible news
Commented By: Bryan Singer on 2008-10-01 09:58:43
I've shat better than Ratner. Little useless spastic douchebag.
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If you can't beat them
Commented By: c on 2008-10-01 10:56:29
I guess -- BR YOU SUCK. I HATE YOUR MOVIES. sorry dude, everyone else was in it.
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Commented By: Mr. Cee on 2008-10-01 15:03:55
This is why i always check in with latinoreview, your the shit "El Quapo"
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Commented By: Cream of SumYungGui on 2008-10-01 16:35:42
I thought the Rat was gay.
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Commented By: Eli on 2008-10-17 11:21:24
Please don't screw up CONAN!
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/38775
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on 2009-01-25 01:25:55
tyrese gibson he should be the god of war
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