Oye The Loudest and Lewdest Latin in L.A., EL MAYIMBE here with an update on G.I. JOE!
As first reported by the most hated Cuban since Castro, IESB'S Robert "Barrigon" Sanchez (but I love him!) reported over the weekend the depressing news that "Studio Head Killer" STEPHEN SOMMERS was tapped to direct Paramount's G.I. JOE.
Well, hold up just a second...you think I was going to take this lightly?! HELL TO THE NO! G.I.JOE never gives up so I took action!
Being a Latino that practices Santeria, I did some pretty messed up brujeria (witchcraft) on DiBonaventura and Sommers and it has apparently worked!
Sommers is asking for WWAAYY too much money and Paramount is not having it which means that it looks like...
...STEPHEN SOMMERS WILL NOT BE DIRECTING G.I. JOE!
The deal is not working out...
Apparently, Brad Grey and Lorenzo DiBonaventura didn't want to end up like Mary Parent and Scott Stuber after they lost their Studio Head jobs over the mess that was VAN HELSING!
Sommers is lucky to get DGA scale if he were to direct G.I.JOE but hell no, his ass needs to keep moving along and go and make another Imhotep movie.
Maybe DiBonaventura is finally coming to his senses somewhat! I need to keep lighting them "7 African Powers" candles. You can pick them up at a Santeria shop for like a buck.
Consider this another victory for us passionate G.I. JOE fans!
So don't worry folks, I'm out in the trenches Snake Eyes style probing G.I. JOE so now you know, AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!
