EL MAYIMBE PRESENTS
"BE COOL" SCRIPT REVIEW
Screenplay by Peter Steinfeld
From the novel by Elmore Leonard

RATING:

Starring: John Travolta (Chili Palmer), Uma Thurman (Edie), The Rock (Elliot Wilhelm), Vince Vaughn (Raji), Christina Milian (Linda Moon), James Gandolfini (Bear), Danny Devito (Martin Weir) and the Director is F.Gary Gray.

A little soapbox moment

YO! Happy New Year! Hope everybody's holidays and pernil were dope! El Mayimbe in the house. The #1 script reviewer on the Internet with yet another WORLDWIDE exclusive. Why such a declaration? Simple. I come to notice that NOBODY brings you the coolest scripts on the Internet like us bandidos over here at Latino Review do. I recently decided to surf and look at the other film sites that do script reviews and noticed how WHACK, CORNY, and OBVIOUS everybody is else. I mean com'on guys. Be original. How many different reviews of the same script are you going to read? Do we really need like multiple corny reviews of Superman, The Aviator, The Big Bounce, King Conan, The Village, you get my drift. The obvious movies. To make matters worse you got some of these corny reviewers who beg and plead with me for copies of my dope screenplays and then they go do reviews on their site after I’ve done the review AND not give me at least a shout-out. How whack is that?! If ya'll wanna go with my leftovers after I busted that nut and do dried cum reviews on your corny ass sites then fine. That is what I mean by be original fellas. If a script review of a script is already out there online then go find a script that nobody got reviewed online and blow it the fuck up. That is why I'm not into sloppy seconds. If somebody did the review, I don't even think about re-hashing the review for Kelvin. That is also why we bring you what we think are gonna be cool ass flicks. Do I have a case of serious Latino-ego-itis? Damn right!

That is why now in 2004 El Motherfuckin' Mayimbe is back and still...

Latin, Larger, Louder, Lovelier and Lewdest!

Now I'm gonna get off my soapbox. Let's start off 2004 in a big way.

Off the bat "Be Cool" is super cool. Some of the coolest and funniest dialogue I read in a script. The draft is dated 4/22/2003. In a nutshell:

Chili Palmer, anti-hero from Get Shorty is back. This time, Chili stumbles into and through the music business, tangling with Russian mobsters, gangsta rappers, two-bit promoters, and a feisty singer named Linda Moon. Along the way he manipulates events to watch them play out to the consternation of others. After one triumph and one flop, Mafia loan shark-turned-Hollywood producer-turned-quasi-record producer Chili Palmer is desperate for another hit. And when a similarly relocated former mob associate takes a hit of the bullet-in-the-brain variety while they're power lunching, Chili begins to see all kinds of possibilities. The whacked recording company mogul's midday demise is leading Chili into the twisted world of rock stars, pop divas, and hip-hop gangsters, which is rife with drama, jealousy, and betrayal.

The script opens at the Swingers Coffee Shop (I've eaten there. Dope hamburgers and shakes!) on Beverly Blvd. CHILI PALMER sits at a sidewalk table with his boy TOMMY ATHENS from NTL Records. Chili is getting out of the movie business because the sequel to his movie 1st movie GET LEO called GET LOST bombed at the box office and now nobody won't take his calls and he can't get any meetings. To make matters worse his girlfriend Karen (Rene Russo from the 1st film Get Shorty) married a screenwriter. Enter NICK CAR, a Lou Pearlman-esque record promoter who goes into Swingers with his goon and has a quick conversation with Chili. Tommy pitches Chili on making a movie about his life as a record producer. Chili tells Tommy to chill then goes to the bathroom. When Chili comes out. BAM! Tommy is shot five times along with Chili's Mercedes Roadster getting in crossfire. Tommy is dead. Later Detectives DARRYL HOLMES and MARLA WILLIAMS interview Chili about the hit. Chili then goes to Enterprise Car Rental and rents a PT CRUISER, drives off. The Detectives go over to EDIE ATHENS' house and give her the news.

THE VIPER ROOM. LINDA MOON, VITA , and MISS SIAGON of the Chicks International are on stage singing "Survivor." Chili arrives at the Viper Room. Before he goes in, MARTIN WEIR and HY GORDON step outside and wait for a limo. Chili talks with Martin for a few who are researching the music biz with HY showing him around because Martin is going to play Jerry Garcia in a movie. Chili tells Martin he is here to see a buddy of his perform, Linda Moon. Chili goes inside, takes a seat at the bar, and watches Linda Moon and the Chicks International belt out a rousing rendition of "Lady Marmalade." After the performance Linda comes over to Chili. They bullshit about making a movie about Linda's life. Chili thinks it's not going to work. Linda needs the money to get out of the contract she signed RAJI who is a business partner with Nick who we met earlier. Linda wants Chili to break the contract for her.

Raji is outside the Viper Room with Elliot, his gay Samoan bodyguard who wants to be in the movies. Chili confronts Raji and tells him that Linda doesn’t work for him any more and that he just cancelled her contract with Raji. There is some static with Raji. Raji tells Elliot to intervene. Elliot does and gets knocked in the face by Chili. Chili has just become Linda's new manager. Chili tells Elliot to call him up since he wants to be in movies.

The next morning Chili goes to Edie Athen's house, offers his condolences, and tells Edie he could help her run NTL records. Chili tells Edie about Linda Moon.

Raji goes over to Nick Car's office and tells Nick of his beef with Chili and that how he took Linda from them. Nick tells Raji to go get JOE LOOP to take out Chili. Back at Edie's house we meet Tommy's former assistant TIFFANY and she tells Chili of Tommy's beef with the Russians. The Russians were trying to squeeze Tommy out of some money but Tommy fucked up the Russians when they came into his office and tried to collect.

Up in Chatsworth we meet SIN RUSSELL, manager of the Ropa-Dope Posse. Sin is at home making pancakes for his kid. He steps outside to get his morning paper and BILLBOARD magazine. The Ropa-Dope Posse shows up in a black Escalade and we find out that Tommy also owed Sin like 300 grand.

At the Hollywood Athletic Club JOE LOOP gets the call. Meanwhile, Edie and Chili drive along Sunset. They later meet Linda Moon at her bungalow and watch her perform. Linda's amazing. Later, Chili and Edie drive back along Sunset towards Sunset Plaza. They stop at a light and see STEVEN TYLER of Aerosmith signing his new book WALK MY WAY at a bookshop on Sunset. Chili recognizes Steven's bodyguard BEAR. Edie tells Chili he should talk with Bear to see if he can hook Edie and Chili up with Steven.

Later that night, Chili comes home and finds a dead body in his house. Chili calls Bear. Bear comes over, picks up the dead guy so Chili can get the dead guy's wallet and we find out it is IVAN, a Russian that Tommy fucked up earlier when they were trying to muscle him. Chili asks Bear how can he meet Steven Tyler. The two Detectives come over to Chili's house ask some questions about the murder.

The next day in Nick Car's office, Nick is on the phone, gets the LA Times and sees a picture of Chili on the cover with the inscription: MAN FOUND DEAD IN GET LOST PRODUCER'S HOME. Nick gets off the phone and demands to get connected to Raji. Raji is with Elliot in his car driving around when he gets the call from Nick. Raji goes to Canter's Deli, hooks up with Joe Loop and tells him he killed the wrong guy.

Later, Sin Russell and the Ropa-Dope Posse show up at Edie's house looking for Edie. Sin runs into Derek, one of Edie's boys and punches him in the face. Back at NTL Records, Linda sings and blows away Chili and Edie. Sin Russell and the Ropa-Dope Posse show up to NTL Records. Sin wants his money from Edie. He also wants to look at the books. Chili intervenes.

CHILI
Here's my problem. If I let you look at the books, which I won't, you'd see that Tommy was being squeezed by the Russians.

SIN RUSSELL
What the hell you talking Russians?

CHILI
Russians. Dr. Zhivago, Battleship Potemkin. You get what I'm saying.

SIN RUSSELL
Yeah, those Omar Sharif bitches.

CHILI
Technically, he's Egyptian, but you got the right idea.

Chili then goes on and asks Sin for some time so that Chili can get the money from the Russians. Sin gives Chili three days or else the next meeting Chili has is with Tommy Athens. Sin and his posse leave. Chili decides he has to go see Nick Car.

At this point we’re at the midpoint of the movie and if I go on I will end up spoiling the flick, which I don't like to do. Will Chili get Sin, Raji, the Russians, and Nick off his back? Will he get Linda Moon over to the promised land of music star? Well you're going to have to find out when the movie comes out. Overall, a very entertaining read that would hopefully make a VERY entertaining movie. Cool writing.

My next upcoming Script Review will be about a dozen cool guys and no, it's not a sequel to Cheaper by the Dozen. Can you take a guess?

To all of my faithful Mayimbe's Maniacs: Get ready to rock in 2004!

Any comments just e-mail me!

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