Meet Dave

Reviewed by: George 'El Guapo' Roush - 07.10.08

Eddie Murphy back on the comedy comeback trail?

****DISCLAIMER**** This review is for entertainment purposes only. Don’t be conned by imitation reviews claiming to talk about the movie and rating it. They are fooling you. They most likely have never seen the film and are going off of the trailer. I have never done this. That you know of.

 

Only another week until The Dark Knight comes out in theaters and we comic book fans everywhere get to engage in meaningless debates over a guy who dresses up in a batsuit and fights another guy who dresses like a clown. And with the San Diego Comic-Con weeks away, I can’t wait to walk around the convention floor and listen to conversations about how Heath Ledger has redefined acting itself. That Heath is the reason Sean Connery retired and Tom Hanks cries himself to sleep every night. That The Dark Knight has reimagined the cinematic experience so much, so much they say, that even a third installment would suck balls in comparison to it. When The Dark Knight is released in theaters, this is how the conversation will go at the concession stand:

 

Comic Book Nerd: I need food before theeing the awethome Dark Knight. I want a Large Coke, Large popcorn and three bagth of M&Ms.”

 

Stoned Concession Stand Employee: “Would you like butter on your popcorn?”

 

Comic Book Nerd: “No Ttthankths. I’m thure that during thith awethome movie, I’ll be buttering it all by mythelf. Have you theen it yet? Heath Ledger’s performanth will probably make me cry cuz I’m hith number one fan even though I’ve never theen him in anything bethides that Brokeback movie. Where are the napkinths?”

 

Stoned Concession Stand Employee: “Please get away from me.”

 

I’m sure Twentieth Century Fox is happy that I’m not talking about their movie, so I guess I should get to that. Meet Dave is the latest Eddie Murphy comedy that at first glance should die a quick death and be out on DVD in two weeks. I know going in I certainly expected to see another stinkfest, but to my surprise Meet Dave was a pretty funny comedy that only got things wrong in the third act.

 

The tiny people from the planet Nil travel to Earth to retrieve an orb that was sent there three months earlier. The orb was supposed to suck up all of Earth’s water because the planet Nil was dying from salt deprivation and would be extinguished within a generation. The ship they’re traveling crashes in New York and is modeled after their most famous captain (Eddie Murphy) who on Earth calls himself Dave (Eddie Murphy) to fit in with humans. Along with his #2 (ex Daily Show and now a regular on The Office, Ed Helms) and #3 (Gabrielle Union) they must find the orb, drain the Earth of its water and return to the planet before the ship’s power runs out. The ship of Dave is manned by the tiny crew who control every aspect of Dave’s movements, form walking to talking. The orb is in the hands of Josh (Played by Austyn Myers. Christ, when will parents stop substituting letters in their kid’s names? He’s white for God’s sake.) and his mother Gina (Elizabeth Banks, who is probably often confused for Rachel McAdams) who befriends Dave after hitting him with his car. I think I’m done using parentheses for a while. (I’m not kidding.)

 

Since Earth culture is new to Dave and his tiny inhabitants, they learn everything they can through Google and Yahoo. Unfortunately, referencing today’s technology immediately dates your movie and guarantees that kids who watch it on their optical super vision headsets in the year 2087 require looking up the history of search engines to find out what Yahoo is. Way to waste our future generation’s time, you asshole writers.

 

While the story starts off logically it quickly goes to hell in a hand job. By the third act the plot decides it would rather jump right off of a cliff than stay on the road where it’s safe. Unless Halle Barry is driving on the road, then you’re screwed. Yes, I know that joke is old but I miss Halle Berry and her hit and runs. She was really considerate when it came to providing comedic material. Now all we have are those two dipshits from The Hills to make fun of.

 

Constant interaction with Earthlings slowly starts to change the emotionless crew into beings filled with passion and sexual curiosity. #3 starts to express her feelings toward her captain and he begins to see that maybe they shouldn’t kill Earth just to save theirs. He starts to sympathize with the humans and enjoys their company. This is the biggest flaw in the plot because any alien species that meets a New Yorker would want to destroy the planet within minutes. The alien would extend his hand or claw in greeting, and the New Yorker would ignore him and immediately start bragging about New York. Every East Coaster in Los Angeles, the first thing they want to tell you is that they’re from New York or Boston. Like God decided to rain magically delicious Unicorn sperm on that side of the country and the rest of us just aren’t cool enough to get in on it. Shit, I’m an Earthling and I wouldn’t care if the entire east coast spontaneously combusted.  Or at least those homos called the Boston Red Sox.

 

What saves Meet Dave is actually its star Eddie Murphy. Finally crawling out of whatever comedy deprived hole he’s been in, Murphy is the actor that gives an excellent physical comedic performance. His facial expressions and awkwardness as the robot Dave are hilarious. Most of the interaction with humans leads to a lot of funny situations including a shopping spree at Old Navy when he learns his white 70’s suit makes him stand out too much. His interactions with various people and situations kept audiences engaged and I laughed a lot during the movie. Eddie plays the role of the tiny captain more serious but the comedy parts for the crew are handled just fine by #2, who is hell bent on completing the mission, even by mutiny, when he discovers the captain may change his mind.

 

The third act goes into family friendly territory when once again, contact with human beings makes other alien species realize how complex and awesome we are and that we should not be destroyed. I guess writers Rob Greenberg and Bill Corbett grabbed one of the 500 Star Trek plotlines that uses the exact same structure. Please. If the aliens landed on our planet they’d kick the shit out of us and make us our slaves. I know I’m ready to bow down to our new mind controlling overlords. I have a girlfriend so I’m already used to doing things against my will.

 

The crew, after being exposed to human beings for so long, start partying on the ship, dancing to hip hop, creating MySpace pages and begin acting like idiots. Pretty much how humans act. Even the head of security #4 (Pat Kilbane) discovers he’s now gay and queens out like he’s a judge on some dumb Bravo reality TV show. I’m 100% pure man beefcake, but even I get tired of the stereotype presented on screen in regards to homosexuals. I have gay friends and none of them act like that ‘load that should have been swallowed’ Perez Hilton. While I see it as being in jest, it gets old after a while. A more quiet performance would have been more effective but again, this looks like a problem with the script and not the actor.

 

Dave is being chased by the police but one of them is played by Scott Caan and I’m still on the fence as to whether or not he is even worth talking about. After being arrested both as Dave by the police, and as the captain by his crew, #2 takes control of the ship and starts destroying everything so he can get the ship to the ocean. His goal is to throw the orb in the water and finally do what they landed on the planet to do. Of course, you can guess that things ends well, but it’s a happy ending for the sake of a happy ending. Logically, it makes zero sense why they do what they do, but you’ll have to just watch it to see what I’m talking about. Or you can figure it out from those last two sentences.

 

Even though the third act was horrible, Meet Dave has enough laughs to warrant a recommendation. I regret it went down the familiar Star Trek/Q plotlines but that’s today’s Hollywood for ya. Come up with one original idea for a movie and then surround it with a hundred unoriginal ideas. I’m glad to see Eddie Murphy making a comedic comeback. It’s been too long and I really enjoyed his performance. Meet Dave is a good start for Murphy to once again climb the comedy mountain guys like Jim Carrey and Robin Williams abandoned years ago. My bad...Robin Williams was never funny.

 

Meet El Guapo in person at Comic-Con! Write to: george@latinoreview.com If you’re from the east coast though, please be gentle. I bruise easy.