Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Reviewed by: George 'El Guapo' Roush - 08.11.08

****DISCLAIMER**** This review is for entertainment purposes only. Please let me know if you seen my pet bird. He was last seen flying around the Sherman Oaks area. He has a beak and feathers. Possible cash reward or kazoo if returned.

 

Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) are two freshly douched pretty young traveling vaginas who are going to spend a few months with Vicky’s distant relatives in beautiful Barcelona. If you made it to the end of that last sentence without hitting the Back key on your internet browser than you can pretty much handle whatever else I’m about to write in this review.

 

Shacking up for a few months with Judy (Patricia Clarkson) and Mark Nash (Kevin Dunn), Vicky and Cristina take it all of the sights and sounds of Barcelona. Told via narrative (voiced by Christopher Evan Welch) we learn that Vicky and Cristina, although best college friends, have completely different viewpoints when it comes to relationships and love. Vicky is the more grounded of the two, engaged to Doug (Chris Messina).   Doug is her nice, but boring investment banker boyfriend. Cristina is the more carefree spirit of the two, going through men like I go through tissues during a Latin American beauty pageant on Telemundo.

 

One night at dinner, they’re approached by the suave and charming Juan Antonio (Oscar winner Javier Bardem), an artist who is attracted to both women. In an really, really funny conversation between the three Juan offers both girls to spend the weekend with him in his hometown of Oviedo. Vicky can’t stand his arrogance but Cristina is up for it, and the two end up traveling with Juan for the weekend. When Cristina is about to get some Spanish Juan bull right up in her matador, she gets food poisoning and is bed ridden for the rest of the weekend. Vicky ends up spending the weekend with Juan, and finds he is more interesting than she first imagined him to be. And before they leave, she spends the night with him.

 

Knowing they cannot be together because of Vicky’s engagement, the two part ways and Juan begins going out with Cristina again. She moves in with him but shortly after, his crazy ex wife Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz) moves in with them. At first complicating things, the three learn that they are perfect together but Vicky is still missing her ‘what could have been’ moment with Juan. Meanwhile, Doug tells Vicky over the phone he wants a quick wedding in Spain and flies out to meet her, complicating things even more.

 

While the plot may seem crazy, it actually isn’t and that’s because the narrator helps guide the audience through everything that is going on. Thank God because I have the attention span of a fat kid in a candy store and would be lost in two seconds unless someone is holding my hand. I get confused just standing in line for Space Mountain. Takes me three hours to figure out those stupid lines. ANYWAYS...

 

I was never a big Woody Allen fan, but Match Point, Cassandra’s Dream and now Vicky Cristina have sold me on his work. Vicky Cristina Barcelona isn’t just one of his best films, it’s one of the best films I’ve seen so far this year. It’s an extremely funny, complex and layered look at relationships and the choices we make. It questions our decisions, our fear of being alone if we take risks and does it in a way that never insults its audience.

 

Each character has their internal struggle with what’s going emotionally. Cristina with her decision to stay with a couple who used to be married and fight like cats and dogs, and Vicky who is asking herself if being married to Doug in a stable, yet boring life, is what she wants. But can she give up everything and risk a relationship with a man she hardly knows? The answers to these questions will surprise you in this film. Nothing goes the way it would in the normal romantic Hollywood comedy. It actually deals with these situations in as realistic a manner as it can and I was really involved with these characters. Man, I am such a fag.

 

The acting was excellent by everyone. The role of Juan Antonio, in my opinion, could not have been played by anyone other than Javier. I haven’t seen Rebecca before but she was really good and I don’t think Scarlett has ever been bad in anything she does. Penelope Cruz was the big surprise as the crazed ex wife and every scene she was in would make you laugh. Yes, there is the kiss between Maria Elena and Cristina, but the sex in this movie is really, really tame. Don’t believe the studio hype on this. I’ve seen steamer sex scenes on All My Children. Wow. I really am a total fag.

 

The cinematography was gorgeous and made me want to visit Barcelona. The shots were beautiful and I really enjoy these Allen movies taking place in Europe. His next one goes back to New York and I’m hoping he hasn’t abandoned shooting overseas completely now that he’s done a few pictures there. The only downsides were a small sub plot with Judy and Mark in the 3^rd act. It was short but unnecessary. Not everyone in this movie needs to have relationship issues. I also didn’t like the last scene between Vicky and Juan Antonio, but it’s a small gripe. The movie ends the way it should and I’m glad it does in such a mature and realistic manner.

 

It’s smart, funny and your eyes never get bored looking at the scenery. Vicky Cristina Barcelona is one of the best films this year and I’m really glad I got to see it. I love films that actually make you think about their content once you’re done watching them. Woody Allen may not have the answers to the complexities of love, but he’s doing a great job asking the right questions.

 

Steamy e-mails can be sent to: george@latinoreview.com